Surround yourself with people whom you admire for their character.
Don’t be fooled by glitter and superficial things. Please pay attention to their values, morals, and simple gestures when interacting with others.
Watching how people interact with less powerful or less important people is often extremely informative.
Treating other people with respect is a sign of good character. These are the people who you will most likely enjoy over a long period of time.

There are so many instances where we are powerless. We must abide by the system and its rules, which include voicemail and electronic answering. “Please press 1 for English,” and “If you know your party’s extension, please dial it now.” If you opt for clicking the number that will give you the extension for your intended recipient, it invariably does not recognize the name you attempt to enter. In the world of “waiting on hold,” a world full of call centers employing people all over the world who pretend to be your “buddy,” and a general notion of “too bad you are in a hurry,” it is lovely to have a solid base of real friends. So be sure you have some.

When we realize who we need to have as friends, it often happens that we need to clean out our list. We need to sort out our friends, just as we might decide to clean out a closet. Our oldest friends can be our truest ones, but sometimes the opposite is true. Our lives may diverge so completely that a few old friends do not belong in our inner circle or the larger group. Such ruthless pruning may sound like disloyalty, but it is being loyal to YOU. As time passes and we become seasoned and wise, we must realize who should be walking alongside us.

Keep evolving and making new friends who keep you young, informed, and interested in life. Be sure to have some friends who are ten or twenty years younger than you are. You need someone who understands the constant upgrades in our digital society. New thoughts, new ways of dressing, even new cooking styles keep us on our toes.

Stay away from those whose negativity brings you down. Avoid people with substance abuse problems, anger issues, and those who are hanging out with other shady characters while living lives of anti-social behavior. People with addictions are not much fun over time, unless they are dealing positively with their problems. If they keep saying they will reform, keep them distanced until they do it. Most of these problems cannot be solved without the help of a support group or a counselor. We all have friends who are always in dire financial trouble. You will do them more good by saying “No!” than you will by lending money. Help them by believing in them, not by keeping them dependent on you.

Joining groups helps you find others who enjoy the same things you do. Exercise studios, book clubs, garden clubs, or animal-centered events are excellent places to meet your newer friends. Church is always a welcoming place. One of the beauties of a church is that they have events where you can socialize and have fun while doing good deeds for others. That is a win-win situation.

When we age out of contact sports and begin to slow down when hiking and go on less demanding camping trips, we need to rethink our options. Even just taking some easier runs on the ski-slope, and going to bed earlier, force us to become more appreciative of our friends who do the same. Everyone needs someone who can sit by the fire and discuss the latest best sellers, or someone who loves to listen to the same sort of music you do. Philosophical discussions can go on for days or weeks, stretching your mind and exercising your sense of what you believe to be true.
You may have a passion such as archaeology or modern art, or you may love to quilt. Amazing synchronicity of thought or the excitement of encountering different ideas against which you can hone your own comes from interacting with others of matching intellectual curiosity.

Appreciate your friends, mourn those who “pass” before you, and by all means, make new ones! We need each other.

Copyright©. 2025 Bonnie B. Matheson