If you want to change your life, do you know what to do?

How do you think about your life? Are you happy and proud with how it is turning out, so far? Are there parts you wish were different? Do you feel like a victim? Or do you feel confident that you are in control of your own life? If you are enjoying being a victim, you probably should move on. When you stop blaming your bad luck, come back and read this. You can change your life, but first you need to believe it.

You have the power. You are the architect of your life, with God’s help. And He will help if you let Him. First, you need to demonstrate the belief that you won’t quit until you have given it your best effort. That is not to suggest that you won’t stumble, or get lazy sometimes, or become embroiled in the vicissitudes of life and forget your goals. The important thing is to return to your plans, your goals, and your new spoken habits of thought. Simply begin again.

The key to changing course is changing your mind. In order to reshape your mind you must change your inner thoughts. Thoughts are powerful. What you think is essentially what you get. Those thoughts are blueprints; they build the foundation upon which you build your life. The words you say silently or aloud, build the mental edifice in which you live.

 Positive Thoughts build positive habits. These habits stabilize your positive thoughts. Spoken words, even if only said silently, hold immense power. Pick wisely.

Think of it as a plentiful buffet laid out for you. You can pick and choose what you put on your plate. If you are on a diet, you might avoid things with sugar, white flour, or starchy side dishes of pasta, rice, or potatoes. I know this approach well. And it works. Avoid empty carb-heavy food. Add more protein and healthy fat instead and you can change your appearance. But you must be consistent.

It is the same with your thoughts. If they are negative, you can just pass on by. Don’t put them on your mental plate. Look for happy thoughts. Choose thoughts that raise your “state” and make you feel good. Shun those that drag you down or question your ability to do what you wish. When you imagine yourself powerful, or knowledgeable, or healthy, and say the words you want to be true, magic can happen. Not immediately, but over time, your words build your reality. They do. And it starts in your head.

These thoughts, expressed in words, act as magnets, attracting marvelous things, and they can repel the things that get in your way. However, the opposite is also true. Learning to use your random thoughts, especially your “directed” thoughts, is like learning a new language. It is necessary to pay attention and be careful to weed out poisonous, dangerous, or useless messages from some inner voice that is trying to sap your strength and resolve.

The core insight about the power of words is the domino effect, which works this way. Words are the voice of thoughts that create feelings. Those feelings spark desires, desires drive actions, positive actions produce rewards, and rewards reinforce desires. It is a circular method, perpetuating the good influence and the amazing power of words to aid your most sincere plans.

When I began foxhunting seriously, I was in my 20s and felt like I was late to the game. Instead of dwelling on what I did not know or my relative newness to the game, I spent as much time as I could learning the ins and outs of the sport. I focused on learning and knowing the correct conduct and the unofficial rules. I knew I was already a competent horsewoman. Before long, I was accepted and finally felt completely at home in the hunt field. I saw myself as part of the group; I could feel it before it was actually a fact. Others who were new often shot themselves in the foot (so to speak) by being timid, ignorant, or just plain stubborn about fitting in.

There are so many examples of people who started on the outside of a sport, a business, a social group, or perhaps running for office. And they succeeded despite all odds. Visualization, Affirmations, and surrounding yourself with everything you can think of that will uplift you rather than bring you down. Be ruthless. When I decided to learn to play Mah Jongg, I was struggling with complex rules and rituals. And I was very slow at play while I tried to figure out the best way to proceed. A friend who plays Mah Jongg successfully explained how she learned so quickly. She told me, “The truth is, in the beginning, I just faked it, so I could play fast and not hold up the game. Over time and lots of playing, I began to understand things and became proficient.” She did not let negative self-talk defeat her. She used that old trick, “Fake it ’til you make it!” It works if you don’t quit and are willing to make serious, constant effort.

Today, there are many ways to help you energize yourself and stay on track with positive energy and engagement. It requires discipline to avoid the easy way out and to resist being sidetracked by familiar old patterns that impede your progress.
Some programs will help you do this. My Grandson has a new site for keeping your goals ontrack. Check it out. Many self-help books have been written on this subject. Read some, but don’t wait to try out the power of positive words and phrases. Start today.

It is best to begin in increments you can handle easily. One habit at a time is most likely to succeed. Only at the beginning, though, because as you see yourself gaining on your goals, you will probably be inspired. You will begin to work harder and bite off bigger and bigger chunks of your preferred habits to implement.

As my age crept up and life intervened, taking some of my mobility and energy away, I accepted it as natural aging. That was a terrible mistake. And one that would have put me prematurely into that category of women who have allowed themselves to bow out of the game. This is something my sister constantly uses as a mantra. “Don’t let the old woman in!” she says. It happens.
Luckily for me, my grandson saved me by inviting me to spend a week in Jamaica. That was where I realized I had become feeble and unfit. You can read about it here.

Though the stairway up to our cottage was a gentle grade, it had no handrails. It frightened me badly. It would have been easy just to say, “Ok, I am 84, and it is just natural to slow down.” But I did not. I knew I had to ‘sink or swim’ in that hilltop cottage.

Words matter. I said to myself,” I have done so many things already, that amazed me. My grandson means a lot to me, and he has given me this trip.” and I said and BELIEVED, “I can do this. I can get strong enough to go up the steps to this cottage without holding on to someone or using a cane.” Of course, I was scared it might not be true. But I never put that thought into words. My self-talk helped me, and within a few days, my body responded.

Now that I am home in Charlottesville, I walk every other day. At first, I could not believe how much strength I gained in one week away. Now I walk down my driveway and back, a 1.6-mile round trip. Of course, I do other exercises as well. These things are done consistently. It feels as though my body is 10 years younger. I feel extraordinary! 

Please try it yourself. All sorts of things you wish to achieve can be yours. The power of words is miraculous. Don’t forget to use your power. It is a divine gift, which is yours to enjoy.

It does not matter what your goal may be. You are stronger than you know. You have the power to change anything you want. Learn to speak words that transform and avoid negative, harmful ones.

Copyright©. 2026 Bonnie B. Matheson