Life keeps throwing new obstacles in my way! This past week has been an eye-opener in many ways. I learned I am comfortable confronting my mortality. Are you ready to face death if it comes?

On Monday evening, I felt weird at the end of the day, and really, really tired. My son was watching football in my library, by a roaring fire. His dogs and my dogs were all draped over the couch. I sat down with them, too tired to care much about petting them or noticing their warmth and affection. I had a headache, which was not like me at all. I never have them.  It was a strange, not normal feeling. As I sat there, with a strange localized headache, I felt a small ‘pop’ at the left front of my forehead. And I had the sensation of fluid running down the inside of the left side of my head. All weird, but not uncomfortable.

In my heart, I knew this was NOT normal and probably NOT good. “Could I be having a stroke?” Obviously not a serious stroke, but a real TIA. It seemed a possibility. “Should I call the doctor? Should I go to the emergency room immediately?” I did not know. I remembered my father having TIAs a few times before his death from pneumonia (and Alzheimer’s)at 74. At that time, they did not treat TIAs. No trip to the ER or electric imaging. The TIAs certainly did not kill my father. So it was necessary to weigh my options. My exhaustion might have been a factor, but I decided I would seriously rather die at home than go to the ER. I said nothing to my son about any of it.

Suddenly, I felt very sick to my stomach. I tried every way I could to stop being sick, but I lost the battle. After that, I felt better, actually. My son left because I had not told him about the headache, the “pop,” or the strange sensation under my skin. And I went to bed after a second bout of vomiting. It occurred to me that I might not wake up. Or when I woke, I might no longer be in this world.  And I felt comfortable with that, even though I am still having a lot of fun in my life. It just seemed easier to put it in God’s hands. It felt good to relax and just let Him decide the timing.

The next morning, early, I felt fine. Completely normal and full of energy as a matter of fact. I went to the Women’s Faith Forum, then gave blood at the Red Cross, and later attended a core stabilization class at the Center at Belvedere. Wednesday was a super day, though I was a bit more tired when I woke up that morning. I had several relaxing appointments that day and dinner out with one of my sons. Thursday, there was so much to do. I had so many plans for the day and the evening! In the late morning, I went to another gentle exercise class, a balance class. I love the instructor, and I know my balance is “off”. But that is where I learned there was truly something wrong, beyond my control.

We were doing gentle half-raises out of a chair in class, a sort of half-squat. And SUDDENLY, I felt a kind of tiny “snap” in my head as I was halfway up off my chair and the entire world started spinning. I was able to sit down, but my dizziness was acute. It did not go away as I expected. It was impossible for me to stand and walk to the door of the class. A staff member from the class came over to me and asked if I would like her to escort me out of the room. I gratefully accepted because there was NO WAY that I could get out of there any other way.

For some time, I sat in the lobby waiting to feel normal again. That just did not happen. I could see my Tesla sitting not too far away, in the parking lot. That Tesla will drive me home with its self-driving function. But walking across the space between me and the car was insurmountable. I called my son, Robert, to ask him to please come get me, and he did. I was still dizzy 20 minutes later when he arrived. It was simply not in my control, no matter how much I wanted to make it stop. People I spoke to on the phone while waiting all commented on my slurred speech. I noticed it myself. It was easy enough to find words, but articulating them was difficult. There was no pain, no sagging mouth, no numbness or tingling in any part of my body.

Later that evening, once I no longer felt dizzy but still had a headache, there was a family discussion about me. This was the first time they had heard about my small incidents. They were all concerned, some suggesting that the ER was the best place for me. We talked about alternatives reasonably, but they could see that I was better. They could see there was no fear or panic in me. They did not resist when I opted to go to bed in my own bed and call a doctor in the morning.

The next day, I rang my doctor’s office and said, ”My children think I may have had a little stroke.” The receptionist said, ”Come on in!” No fussing about getting an appointment, just “come on in,” and so my son drove me. The doctor saw me almost immediately. My son was mighty impressed with how much time Dr Sawyer spent with me, how much he listened to me, and how he took notes with a pen, not a computer. I sensed he did not want me to have a TIA. I was so completely fine by then. The doctor concluded that my Alpha Gal meat allergy might have caused the problem. So he took blood to send out to check my allergy numbers. He told me they were quite high when we first tested it nearly a year ago. I told him that I ate meat on Sunday night and again on Wednesday evening to make up for giving blood to the Red Cross. Everyone seemed very relieved to blame the meat allergy, and the doctor wants me to have an MRI next week.

Tonight, I got the results of the allergy test! Ta! Da! My blood is completely normal once more. No more allergy! I suspected this was the case because I have been getting homeopathic treatment for nearly a year from a different type of doctor. Therefore, I no longer believe the earlier theory. I believe it may very well have been a mini stroke, TIA. (My doctor has not seen those results yet, so I will be very interested in what he believes once he sees them.) It is a weekend, so he won’t see them until later. In the meantime, I feel great and not inclined to become a lifelong drug-taking patient, even if it shortens my life. I don’t believe in that.

For much of the 20th century, TIAs were indeed viewed as relatively benign “warning spells” rather than emergencies. Treatment? Often minimal, bed rest, aspirin if you were lucky, or just watchful waiting. No rush to the ER, no mandatory MRIs, no lifelong polypharmacy. And yes, statistically, the majority didn’t progress to major strokes; even today, with inflated risk estimates, 85-90% of TIA patients don’t stroke out within 90 days.

You be the judge! What do you think I had? What do you think about treatment options?

Or is there some other explanation? That would be interesting to hear about.

Copyright©. 2026 Bonnie B. Matheson