The other day, a woman sitting next to me at the prayer group I attend asked me a question: “Where will you live when you have dementia?”

I thought that was a pretty awful question because nobody wants to mention it. But it made me think. Where will I live if (not when) I get dementia?

It is probably too late to get into a retirement community. These places want to have you as early as they can. I absolutely do not want to go to a nursing home. I don’t have enough money for years of 24-hour care like my mother had. I certainly don’t want to use the money I have to pay for care for myself. There should be something to leave my children. I’m not sure what other people do. Perhaps they contact a company for options. I believe you can learn how to handle this from Compassion and Choices. Better to hope for a quick death in one’s sleep, isn’t it?

Shall I enjoy this marvelous house where I live for the next few years? This gorgeous property is wonderful for me right now. It makes me happy every morning when I wake to the sun streaming in my windows. How much longer will that be true? Lately, I have not been jumping out of bed in the mornings like a young girl. Waking up is slower and calmer than before. I feel great and ready to meet the world, but more carefully and with intent. In fact, I have been sleeping later than before. I have stopped going to Pilates classes that I enjoyed so much. (the 6:30 am class that they held twice a week.) What a relief! That was hard to wake up for. But it also made me feel virtuous and fulfilled by 7:30! And there are plenty of later classes, so what is my excuse?

Going to physical therapy after my sprained ankle reminded me of something wonderful. I can get stronger. What a super feeling that is. I recommend it. Lifting weights is so cool because you can clearly see your strength improve. I go to Pivot in Charlottesville. Thanks, James.

I notice a decline in my ability to remember things, especially names. It is sobering to think how many people I used to be able to greet by name. I was really good at it. On the other hand, the list of people I know has grown every year, even though some die off. It expands even more with friends of my children and grandchildren, almost all adults now. No wonder I cannot remember who is who. Not only do I have a large number of grandchildren with loads of friends, but there are also whole families that “marry in.” Naturally, I want to learn and remember their many names. We have another family wedding this weekend! That makes three this year!

I am less interested in “things” that once greatly interested me, such as clothes or objects d’art. Is that an early sign of dementia? I have lived in many lovely houses and interesting places. Over the years, I have known many people who were involved in whatever phase of life or sport we were. Looking back, it is as if we had many lives. The many decades of my marriage encompassed multiple phases: children, sports, schools, animals, travel, and social obligations.

My family lived abroad when I was 11- 14 years old, making me very patriotic. I missed my country, The United States of America, so much while living in Luxembourg. We lived in luxury there, but I missed my home and the attitude of other Americans. It is such a charming country, but I noticed a reticence in the people. Today, we would call it “political correctness”. It drove me crazy. Why were they so afraid to say what was true?

??During those years, all I wanted was to come home to the USA and be free. Freedom is part of our culture. And that is not true in most other countries. Immigrants always notice this right away. No wonder they all want to come here. But we are on the verge of losing that freedom because we are not careful about guarding it. Ronald Reagan said, “??Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction.“

I have grown up, blossomed, and matured in the decades since then. Now, there is no denying the fact that I am old. It is so strange because I feel the same as always inside. These days, I remember the intensity of my patriotic feelings with pride. Nothing has changed about the way I feel about our country. But now, others in my country often sound like those insecure Europeans who did not want to offend anyone. And they seem to be embarrassed about believing in American Exceptionalism.??

Is that a bad word now? I have the impression that it is equated with ‘white supremacy’ or wanting to own slaves. The irony is that these same people are slaves themselves. They are slaves to their creature comforts, their iPads, and their video game worlds. They walk in lockstep with their single-minded beliefs, and no dissent is allowed. If you do not agree, they shun you. They are slavishly loyal to their new logos, like the rainbows they have stolen, like LGBTQ + and their redundant pronouns. Sorry. Was that insensitive???

We are all just people. We are basically the same. We are all Americans in this country, whether we have been here for generations or only a few weeks. Be grateful and respectful of our country.??

Well, I am not demented yet. And it needs to be said. These younger people, with their purple hair, body piercings, tattooed arms, and torsos, will be just as peculiar and just as “outdated” to the next generation as they are to mine.

??Let’s hope they have not managed to completely screw things up by the time their time is over. They need to protect this land. Otherwise, where will they live when they have dementia?

Copyright©. 2024 Bonnie B. Matheson