Childbirth is magical. The power of it, the mystical quality, along with the raw animal instinct, is never forgotten. My births taught me more than anything else ever has about my body and my ability to do whatever I needed to.

Try to keep birth out of the hospital, where they take control of you and your body. Women know how to give birth to a baby instinctively. But it has almost been “trained out of us” by a constant diet of fear. They emphasise the problems that might occur while having a baby. This instills fear. It is sad for the whole human race because the often violent hospital births imprint on the baby from its first breath.

In many hospitals today, the C-section rate is above 30%. Understand that this means doctors tore one-third of these infants from their mothers’ wombs without the benefit of traveling through the birth canal. They deprived the babies of the intended pressure of going through the birth canal. This design helps clear their lungs and jump-starts their life outside, breathing oxygen. They miss out on all the flora and good maternal immunity they are meant to collect as they exit.

Often, this delays the skin-to-skin contact they need. As nurses quickly take over and clean the baby, giving it shots and ointments and putting their non-maternal hands all over its body, bonding must wait. All those lights, noise, the clatter of instruments, pictures taken, and the voices of strangers, rather than just the mother’s and father’s familiar ones, confuse the newborn. This is traumatic for the baby.

Even if you have a vaginal birth in a hospital, you may be faced with many of the same problems. There is nothing natural about a hospital birth. It does not smell like home. It is antiseptic and unnaturally free of the household atmosphere you are used to. There is noise, light, and tension in the air. No wonder women often go to the hospital in labor only to have their contractions stop when they are admitted. 

Animals often refuse to give birth when others are present. They want privacy and peace, and so do our human bodies. Our bodies can quit on us, just as a mare foaling stops the birthing process if she feels she is being observed. Our emotional state has everything to do with how our birth experience unfolds. Women today are taught to fear birth unless it is accompanied by professionals. It is implied that a woman cannot do this safely without being monitored, drugged, draped in a hospital gown, surrounded by equipment, and trained people to assist. Hospitals have a list of criteria for birth. There is a timeline they stick to. If your body slows down, they offer assistance and demand that you accept it. Pitocin is given to speed up contractions and open the cervix, but some women experience severe pain with this intervention. Some find the contractions so intense they beg for relief. An epidural seems like such a lovely idea. But because you are numb, you cannot feel the urge to push your baby out. The nurses and doctors must coach you, telling you when to push. The power of your body is numbed for you. You don’t feel it, and so you do not even realize what you are losing by being numb. 

This is the theft of birth that I find so egregious. They don’t have the right to take this from you, but they do it anyway. Then the destruction of your natural birth continues. The moment the baby slips out of your body into the waiting hands of the doctor, you lose touch. Before the birth, you must make it clear that you want skin-to-skin bonding with your baby immediately. Otherwise, strangers take your baby to clean it, put drops in its eyes, give it a shot (research this; it is unnecessary), and weigh and measure it.

Babies should be born peacefully, surrounded by calm and quiet. Family and midwife are all that should be present. Some mothers prefer no one but a midwife, while others wish passionately for their partner or sometimes a particularly loved relative. For some women, a water birth is soothing and feels like the right thing to do. Others want to give birth outdoors in nature. In hospitals, women are often pinned down by monitors or constrained by other hospital protocols. They are forced to give birth in bed. But if the mother-to-be can stand, hold on to something, squat, or get onto “all fours” and expel her baby, gravity helps a lot.

Most obstetricians have never seen a home birth.  Just ask them. Whenever I asked one, they would usually say, “No, and I don’t want to,” or “No, and I would be scared to death to be there for one.” They have so much fear surrounding birth. This translates back to you, “ the patient.” Birth is not an illness. You are NOT a patient. You are the star of a performance which should be aided and supported by someone who is experienced and confident in YOUR ability to succeed safely.

Whatever you do, be sure you have educated yourself ahead of time. Births differ for each baby and each woman. Each one is a different story. Make sure it is YOUR story, not that of a hospital. You can have your baby even if it happens while you are alone. A woman rarely needs medical assistance. All those things they insist on in the hospital are “interventions.” These can almost guarantee more problems later on. Each intervention carries its own risk, often due to systems and schedules you have nothing to do with. Yet, women are programmed to believe they need help. They are frequently full of fear. They lack the self-awareness to understand their own power.

You are powerful. You can do this!

However, if you go to the hospital, that is an automatic intervention. You immediately give up most of your rights. You must follow the hospital’s protocols. Even if you don’t like them or do not want them, you are basically a captive.

Research childbirth before you go to your first appointment. Do you prefer an OB or a midwife? What sort of birth do you want? Have you thought about this? Watch some birth videos of an upbeat nature. Watch the movie “The Business of Being Born.” Check out YouTube for more ideas of birth movies, and read some books about birth. These are for you and your baby. You need to understand the process and internalize that all women can do this.

Women remember their childbirth experiences for the rest of their lives. Make sure yours has the best chance of being one you will remember with excitement and awe. Birth is a miracle. Birth is the single most empowering thing a woman can do. It makes one part of the long chain of birthing women throughout history. You are a cog in the wheel of human development, and you deserve credit for helping create a new generation of lives to better the planet. There is no more important job.

It is as if you are a master painter, Leonardo, perhaps, and then some people in white coats take the brush from your hand. They say, “We can help you do this better, no paint splashing, no tired wrist from repetitive brush strokes. Let us do it for you.” How does that sound? If you like the idea, by all means, go to the hospital. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

If you want to create your own masterpiece, I suggest you look for a doula, a midwife, and a birth center. Or better still, find a midwife who will come to your home to stay with you while you give birth. Home birth is safest. Home birth is less disruptive to you and your infant. Home birth will always be my choice, though I did not have that privilege myself. I did not have the knowledge you have now.

No one told me I had a choice. Midwives were either unavailable to me or I believed they were only for people who were ignorant, not well educated. I had been thoroughly indoctrinated into modern medical treatments. My mother was given gas to have her babies. So she could not advise me. There was so much I never knew until after having my first three children. Later, after my fourth and fifth ones were born naturally, but in the hospital, I learned even more. Eventually, I became a doula because I cared so much about women having a good birth. 

I deeply regret not having my last two babies at home. Midwives were a mystery to me and I had never heard of a doula. Now, it is easy to find them. You should begin looking for one with whom you feel a bond as soon as you are pregnant. It was just too new an idea for me to take it seriously. But the truth is, it is the oldest idea there is.

You do not have to go into this blind, as I did. You have so many options for learning about birth from women who did it themselves, not drugged like my mother’s generation. Thousands of women give birth at home each year. They have the most inspiring and beautiful tales to tell. Be inspired by their confidence in their bodies during pregnancy and childbirth. Don’t be a bystander at your child’s entrance into this world. Be an active, aware participant.

Educate yourself. When you know better, you do better.

  Copyright©. 2025 Bonnie B. Matheson