Do You Cry At Weddings?

Do You Cry At Weddings?

I learned on Saturday that I no longer cry when I hear wedding vows between a young woman and a young man. Age has made me wiser, calmer, and more realistic. Weddings are so beautiful and moving; women love them. While most men seem to wish they could avoid going altogether.

Helen and Lilla at Lilla’s wedding Heathfield 1987

Marriage is full of ups and downs. Some are so small you barely notice, and others are as strong as earthquakes. I believe in Marriage. Taking Marriage vows is an action full of hope. Even though it is pretty easy to end a marriage, and the stigma is mild. I still believe people who love each other should marry and have children.

Recently, someone in conversation mentioned a couple they knew were not planning to have children as if it was completely optional to have a family! When I married in 1961, that was certainly not the case. There was no 100% safe solution. And everyone knew it. We got married anyway!

Big Pink and Big Malc wedding 1937

Somehow, deciding ahead of time to live as a couple without children takes the joy away. Why bother to marry? It reminds me how far our ideals have moved since the 1950s and 60s. A family is complete when there are children who can, in turn, have children of their own.

Last weekend, one of my grandchildren, Daisy, married Steve Luck. It was a lovely wedding in an old stone church filled with history. The church wedding was traditional and more or less “as expected.” But the reception was absolutely stunning and completely UN-expected. Several hundred guests attended the wedding and yet it never seemed crowded. The rolling land surrounding the house lent itself to a great many people. There are gorgeous backdrops for photos. The clear tent emphasized the deep blue of the sky and the brilliant green of the grass and trees. They manicured the space for more than a year in anticipation of this wedding and another one in 6 weeks. The care taken with the grass contributed to its lush, thick carpet and the many plantings in artistic design throughout the property.

The clear tent was fabulous in the evening when it was still light and the property was visible. When the sun set, the scene changed to a dramatic, almost indescribable beauty. Paper stars with lights hidden inside hung from the peaked ceiling of the tent. Little electric lights twinkled like stars in the sky along the ridge-line of the edifice.

The bride was a vision in a white strapless wedding gown of simple but chic design. At the reception, she wore a crown of daisies, having retired the short dramatic veil she wore at the church. The groom was devastatingly handsome. He and she both appeared to be perfect specimens of the human race—good breeding stock, we would have said back in the day. Perhaps this sounds old-fashioned, but I won’t apologize for it, because it is true.

Their wedding was full of family and close friends and dogs. Several dogs joined the festivities even though they were not invited to attend. One in particular was there by invitation, and she is in photographs with the guests. Country weddings are super. When my daughter, Lilla was married horses came near the stone wall that separated their field from the wide swath of grass where the reception was held. A few years ago at a family wedding the guests climbed a hill after the ceremony. The family planted the hiill with wildflowers for just this occasion. It was ethereal and a visual picnic of color.

Daisy dancing with her father, David.

Our entire family is thrilled that we have been having weddings lately. A rare event, these days, it is reassuring for two people to affirm their love with vows shared before family and friends, in the sight of God.

I wish Daisy and Stephen a wonderful life together. It was a great privilege to be there for their wedding. I didn’t cry. I was too busy smiling!

Copyright©. 2024 Bonnie B. Matheson

7 thoughts on “Do You Cry At Weddings?

  1. Beautiful as ever Bonnie! I love the photo off Daisy dancing with David! Thank you for sharing the happiness!

  2. Sooo wonderful to read this. I am glad you found it so beautiful. I rarely cry and did not expect to cry during the wedding, let alone rehearsal the day before, but I did – all the way through practicing my vows. I find love and relationships extremely fascinating, but might not be very romantic. Saying the vows for the first time directly to Steve pulled me right into the moment (possibly, I was avoiding all of the feeling, and just focusing on the doing, until that moment). Love you so much! Such an amazing weekend – and YOU looked fabulous, just like the starry night and stunning landscape.

  3. What wonderful tribute to marriage, Bonnie. They look like ‘good stock’, as you aptly put it and hope they will be very happy! And what a lovely amount of thought went into the reception and gardens ….. loved the clear sky tent, too! Well done, everyone!

  4. Another wonderful and very special blog! So lovely to document such memorable occasions! What a treasure to behold! Thank you for sharing family, beauty and the sanctity of marriage…XO

  5. Such a wonderful wedding!! Between two wonderful people…I did cry! Such a happy and joyous day!!

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