Choice has always been important to me even though I, personally, am glad I never actually had to have an abortion, I believe there are circumstances where it is the best choice. Gabrielle Blair puts her finger on the true cause.

Gabrielle Blair wrote :

“If you want to stop abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. And men are 100% responsible for unwanted pregnancies. No for real, they are. Perhaps you are thinking: IT TAKES TWO! And yes, it does take two for *intentional* pregnancies.

But ALL unwanted pregnancies are caused by the irresponsible ejaculations of men. Period. Don’t believe me? Let me walk you through it. Let’s start with this: women can only get pregnant about 2 days each month. And that’s for a limited number of years.

But men are fertile 365 days a year. In fact, if you’re a man who ejaculates multiple times a day, you could cause multiple pregnancies daily. In theory, a man could cause 1000+ unwanted pregnancies in just one year. While it’s true that sperm gets crappier as men age, it doesn’t have a fertility expiration date; men can cause unwanted pregnancies from puberty until death. So, starting with basic fertility stats and the calendar, it’s easy to see that men are the issue here.

But what about birth control? you might ask.  If a woman can manage to figure out how to get an abortion, surely she can use birth control to avoid unwanted pregnancy, right?

Great question. Modern birth control for women is possibly the most important invention of the last century, and I’m very grateful for it. It’s also brutal. The side effects for many women include migraines, mood swings, decreased libido, depression, severe cramps, heavy bleeding, aneurysms and that’s just a small fraction of them.

Discouragingly, a promising study on a new male contraceptive was canceled in large part due to (wait for it) side effects. To be clear, this list of side effects was about one-third as long as the known side effects for commonly used women’s contraception. There’s a lot to unpack in that story alone. I’ll simply point out that, as a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.

But, men, I’ve got good news. Even with the horrible side effects, women are (amazingly!) very willing to use birth control. Unfortunately, it’s harder to get than it should be, but that doesn’t keep women from trying. Birth control options for women require a doctor’s appointment, sometimes multiple doctor appointments and a prescription. They’re not always free, and often not cheap. Some are actually trying to make female birth control options more expensive by allowing insurance companies to refuse to cover them. In addition, contraceptive options for women can’t be easily acquired at the last minute. In most cases, they don’t work instantly.

The pill requires consistent daily use and doesn’t leave much room for mistakes, forgetfulness, or unexpected disruptions to daily schedules. Again, the side effects can be brutal and not just in rare cases. Despite the hassle and side effects, I’m still grateful for birth control. (Please don’t take it away.) But it’s critical to understand that women’s birth control isn’t simple or easy.

In contrast, let’s look at birth control for men i.e., condoms. They’re readily available at all hours, inexpensive, convenient, and don’t require a prescription. They’re effective and work on demand, instantly. They don’t cause aneurysms, mood swings, or debilitating cramps. Men can keep them stocked up just in case, so they’re always prepared. They can be easily used at the last minute. I mean, condoms are magic! So much easier than birth control options for women.”

Then she goes on to prove it.  It is such a brilliant piece I have decided to promote it here. https://medium.com/s/story/men-cause-100-of-unwanted-pregnancies-eb0e8288a7e5

And here is the Twitter feed:

https://twitter.com/designmom/status/1040363898862358528

Normally I am not a “man-basher”. I love men. But it is true that they really like having sex without a condom. They will cajole and complain and even beg, to be allowed to leave off the “jacket”.

It is true that the phrase “she got pregnant” has bothered me, sometimes only subconsciously, for many years. SHE did NOT get pregnant by herself. And if the man had been more helpful (wearing a condom or pulling out) or less intent on sex, (no tricking or drugging or raping ) she would have NOT been pregnant at all.

I loved it when Gabrielle said that it takes two to make a baby when there is consent to do so. That is when you can add the woman’s complicity. Otherwise it is all up to the man, who is the real cause of pregnancy.

Does this bother anyone? It really should not. This whole abortion debate which often leaves women out completely, makes me uncomfortable. And now I understand why. It is because women are the ones who suffer the consequences and also the ones who get blamed. Men get off “Scot Free”. I believe it is time to change that. But, it will have to come from the men.

Otherwise a bunch of angry women may, in fact get legislation passed to castrate rapists, or to force all men to get a reversible vasectomy at puberty.(as Gabrielle Blair suggested in her tweets and blog)

At first, men may think this whole idea is a joke. But the tide is turning against them, and though it makes me sad for them. They actually have brought this on themselves. The world is such a different place from the world I grew up in, but be warned it is getting so politically correct that men cannot touch a woman without asking for permission. I believe the pendulum has swung way too far.

However, as far as pregnancy is concerned everything Gabrielle has said is true. Time to do some serious thinking about this.