“When you finally learn that a person’s behavior has more to do with their internal struggle than it ever did with you? you learn grace.” That is a critical point. We never know what troubles others are dealing with alone. And therefore we cannot judge them, nor should we. Judging others is one of my gravest faults. Originally, growing up, it was the family culture. Unfortunately, it was traditional to start talking about our guests as soon as they left…
One of the worst fights I ever had with my sister happened in a car in Scottsdale, Arizona. We were together with our mother at the Elizabeth Arden Spa called Maine Chance. Mother brought us both out there along with her as a family. Usually, only my sister Dede went with Mother. It was their time to be together and bond without any interference from other siblings, family members, husbands, or children. They always had a great time sharing a…
All that matters is that your loved ones are healthy, that you have done your best, and that you are grateful for all you have. Sifting through my mothers’ belongings before we sell her house is a revelation. She loved pretty things. She collected many of them. But she was not a hoarder. When she bought new clothes for a season, she would cull her old clothes and send some to cousins, or she consigned them, others went to “Goodwill”…
When the alarm went off this morning, my body jerked awake, startled. My dreaming had been so deep and thrilling. Populated with so many characters, places, colors, and a babble of language and unfinished thoughts, and then?consciousness and reality arrived. Ouch. My warm little smooth haired miniature dachshund Sisi nestled in the curve of my bent knees warm as toast under the covers. For years and years, a duvet and a top sheet have been my only “blanket.” But for…
Aging brings clarity as the reflection in a mirror gives the impression of truth only backward. Age gives us a false sense of knowing. Wisdom understands this error in thought and considers it. Yet the truth is what is needed. To sort out from the other detritus, the bright, beautiful realness of affection and connectedness serenity is required. Knowing what is reliable and safe creates a sense of security. And in the bosom of one’s family, there is peace and…
a brief history of the life of Ruth Hale Buchanan who lived 101 years.
My mother is silent, and her system is breaking down now. She is more or less a shell of her old self. A beautiful hollow shell. Her blond head resting on a mound of pillows, her curls renewed by Mr. Eivind earlier yesterday in a home visit. The beauty salon will see her no more. He nails need a new coat of bright pink polish, and that will be done tomorrow. My heart is breaking. She told us so many…
They say today is the best day for manifesting what you want. It has to do with the full moon in Mercury Retrograde. I don’t understand it. But I believe it is powerful. What I wish I could manifest is a new life for my mother who is 101 and appears to be heading out. There is nothing to do about this. I am helpless and so is everyone else. She is beautiful and comfortable and well-loved. She still kisses…
It is simply never too late. Don’t let anyone, including that little voice in your head, tell you that you have missed your chance. What makes your heart beat faster? Seriously, think about this. Your body may be less flexible, but your mind is wiser. Your hair may be grayer or thinner, but your inner drive is just waiting for you to give it access to the outside world. Your psyche is ripe for a new adventure. Remember Freud and…
difficult to discuss demented parents if siblings are in denial.
I have a visiting dog. Her name is Lulu. That is short for Lucretia Borgia. She is sweet and unassuming and loving. She was sad when her Dad left her here with me. But he (my son in law) had taken the precaution of getting her a new tag with my phone number and address on it. She is well loved at home. And since they must be away for 2 weeks, what better place than at Gramma’s house? She…
meditation on laying in a hammock
On Thursday afternoon I was looking up tips for opening remarks on the Internet. I am speaking about Care for the Caregiver this week, and want to make my audience laugh. It is pretty gruesome subject, so laughter is helpful. I found some good information and decided to take a photo of the suggestions that a particular website recommended. And my phone camera works wonderfully for that sort of thing. It is an (almost brand new) 3-month-old Apple iPhone XS….
An homage to my 101 year old mother who loves a party.
Musing about the fact that as I get older I have more to remember than ever before. My memory is better than I thought.
