Finishing a task, for Mother’s Day
It is satisfying to complete a task.
The Day I Grew Up
When I called my mother and asked her to come to stay while I spent a night in the hospital, she said: “I am sorry, I can’t.” What? I thought I must have misheard her. It happened this way; When I was 20 and a new bride and an extremely new mother, I had a small medical issue. My doctor said he could fix it, but it would require one night in the hospital. We lived in Charlottesville, VA, in…
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The Veil
It is more than 100 years old. My daughter cut off the greater part of it for her daughter’s wedding. That part that covers the bride’s head has a pattern of seed pearls sewn into it. The border all around the body, which is of silk netting, is a continuous row of pearls. Originally it was Cathedral length veil, which in photos lays coiled around to settle in front of the bride. But it was difficult to walk with it…
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It is a Beautiful World.
Enforced shelter in place rules are onerous for some but not for me. Of course, I am careful. The unusual thing that happened this morning made me aware of how a few things have changed during my time here. Today I had to go to the bank. In order to do that, I had to make an appointment with a banker. He opened the bank door for me so I did not have to touch anything. The whole time I…
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Lessons Learned
“When you finally learn that a person’s behavior has more to do with their internal struggle than it ever did with you? you learn grace.” That is a critical point. We never know what troubles others are dealing with alone. And therefore we cannot judge them, nor should we. Judging others is one of my gravest faults. Originally, growing up, it was the family culture. Unfortunately, it was traditional to start talking about our guests as soon as they left…
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The KitFox and Lots of Trouble.
One of the worst fights I ever had with my sister happened in a car in Scottsdale, Arizona. We were together with our mother at the Elizabeth Arden Spa called Maine Chance. Mother brought us both out there along with her as a family. Usually, only my sister Dede went with Mother. It was their time to be together and bond without any interference from other siblings, family members, husbands, or children. They always had a great time sharing a…
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An Attitude of Gratitude
All that matters is that your loved ones are healthy, that you have done your best, and that you are grateful for all you have. Sifting through my mothers’ belongings before we sell her house is a revelation. She loved pretty things. She collected many of them. But she was not a hoarder. When she bought new clothes for a season, she would cull her old clothes and send some to cousins, or she consigned them, others went to “Goodwill”…
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A Day in the Life of B Matheson
When the alarm went off this morning, my body jerked awake, startled. My dreaming had been so deep and thrilling. Populated with so many characters, places, colors, and a babble of language and unfinished thoughts, and then?consciousness and reality arrived. Ouch. My warm little smooth haired miniature dachshund Sisi nestled in the curve of my bent knees warm as toast under the covers. For years and years, a duvet and a top sheet have been my only “blanket.” But for…
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Today is my Birthday
Aging brings clarity as the reflection in a mirror gives the impression of truth only backward. Age gives us a false sense of knowing. Wisdom understands this error in thought and considers it. Yet the truth is what is needed. To sort out from the other detritus, the bright, beautiful realness of affection and connectedness serenity is required. Knowing what is reliable and safe creates a sense of security. And in the bosom of one’s family, there is peace and…
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A Year Best Forgot
My memoir about living with and caring for my mother is still not ready for publication. Unfortunately, this last year was not conducive to deadlines or serious revisions. It is hard to do that when you are living in the thick of what you are writing. I could see that it was coming to a close. There was no way to know when, though. The year remains blurry, cloudy, thick. It is hard to remember individual days because they are…
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The Final Year, Recapping 2019
I had no inkling that the year would end as it has. January was a bit slow with some little show of snow and my birthday spent with my class from the Capital Speakers Club at the Rodarte exhibit. I spend hours looking out of the picture window in the Garden Room, watching the antics of the squirrels and the birds and occasionally other wildlife. One day as I was sitting at my computer looking halfway to the outdoors over…
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My Mothers Funeral was Today
Describing the funeral of my mother who was 101 years old. It was a great service and a great party afterward.
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Obituary for Ruth Buchanan
a brief history of the life of Ruth Hale Buchanan who lived 101 years.
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A Glimpse of Her
My mother is silent, and her system is breaking down now. She is more or less a shell of her old self. A beautiful hollow shell. Her blond head resting on a mound of pillows, her curls renewed by Mr. Eivind earlier yesterday in a home visit. The beauty salon will see her no more. He nails need a new coat of bright pink polish, and that will be done tomorrow. My heart is breaking. She told us so many…
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Manifesting Moon
They say today is the best day for manifesting what you want. It has to do with the full moon in Mercury Retrograde. I don’t understand it. But I believe it is powerful. What I wish I could manifest is a new life for my mother who is 101 and appears to be heading out. There is nothing to do about this. I am helpless and so is everyone else. She is beautiful and comfortable and well-loved. She still kisses…
